The Nessy Games/Transcript

Views01/08/2021 Falalala!

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 The bus arrives at the woodland where the part takes place. Klirork gets off first and yells, “Let the Nessy Games begin!”

InstAnt01/08/2021 The rest of the contestants get off after Klirork does

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 Klirork tells everyone they will be divided into groups of two for separate districts to survive.

InstAnt01/08/2021 “This should be fun,” Sonic says

Views01/08/2021 "I'm going to sabotage Sugarfree!" I say to myself.

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 Views is kicked off by Klirork since he's not in this part.

Views01/08/2021 However, I was just an audience member.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Everybody awaits further instructions from Klirork

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 Klirork then tells everyone their first objective: Gather food.

InstAnt01/08/2021 “Seems easy enough,” Scarlett says

Views01/08/2021 Sugarfree looks for bees because he likes them as food. I sneak onto the battle field, and get all the bees out.

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 But it isn’t a battlefield. It’s a wooded area.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Sonic and Angery found some berries but they don’t know if they’re poisonous or not

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 Angery then throws one of the berries into his eyes, which he reveals is actually a pore since he’s part Sfounie.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Angery says “Okay we should take these”

Views01/08/2021 Sugarfree desperately looks for food. I laugh at him.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Scarlett finds some sticks and thinks they’re edible so she takes them

Views01/08/2021 Plot twist: They are.

Mine01/08/2021 DadBot finds a cave, and goes inside.

Views01/08/2021 A bunch of stalactites fall on him, and he dies.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Baltic Boat finds mushrooms and picks them up

Views01/08/2021 Elec Man notices a trail of them leading, into the cave. There he notices Dad Bot's body and loots him.

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 (Don’t kill people off too fast, there’s still gonna be 500 replies)

InstAnt01/08/2021 Poorly Drawn Cheep picks up some of the mushrooms because Baltic Boat didnt take them all

Mine01/08/2021 Baltic Boat eats the mushrooms, which turn out to be poisonous. However, he doesn't die.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Scarlett takes her sticks back to Klirork

Views01/08/2021 Her and Penny are given immunity in return.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Meanwhile with Sonic and Angery...

Views01/08/2021 Angery and Sonic find some fast food.

InstAnt01/08/2021 They take them back to Klirork

Views01/08/2021 Then they went to South Park.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Where they...

Views01/08/2021 Met Eric Cartman.

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 Klirork disqualifies Angery for leaving the woodlands. However, Sonic runs back.

Views01/08/2021 Eric Cartman follows Sonic back because he likes him.

InstAnt01/08/2021 “You’re safe, this time...” Klirork tells Sonic

Views01/08/2021 Klirork decides what the heck, and makes Eric Cartman a contestant, replacing Angery.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Eric gives Klirork Cheesy Poofs

Views01/08/2021 Klirork gives him and Sonic another immunity for the extra food.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Then Baltic Boat returns with the mushrooms not aware at all that they’re poisonous

Views01/08/2021 Meanwhile with Weirdalcon and Luis...

InstAnt01/08/2021 They found candy on the floor

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 Luis eats a lot of the candy.
 * Weirdtalon

InstAnt01/08/2021 “Dude we were gonna give that to the cat dude!” Weirdtalon says

Views01/08/2021 Weirdtalon picks up a few pieces of candy corn, and brings them to Klirork.

InstAnt01/08/2021 “You both get immunity,” said Klirork

Views01/08/2021 (So does Blue CC) Meanwhile, Ho Sis looks for Dad Bot not knowing he died.

Mine01/08/2021 Sven Svensson is revealed to have escaped from jail, and he asks Klirork if he can join. Klirork eats him.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Meanwhile with Elec Man...

Views01/08/2021 Elec Man decices to ride Baltic Boat as a boat, as they approach a lake. Elec Man sticks his hand in the water, zapping and frying all the fish, and the two take the fish to Klirork.

InstAnt01/08/2021 “You guys get immunity too,” He says in response

Mine01/08/2021 Boiling finds a ripe apple and shows it to Klirork.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Klirork is impressed and gives Boiling and Morgen immunity

Views01/08/2021 Blue CC realizes Sugarfree is food, and takes him to Klirork. I scoff as they get immunity.

Mine01/08/2021 Sugarfree then hears Sven Svensson saying "it's over" from Klirork's stomach, and asks him what the sound was.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Luxovo and Ilvon find some bags of chips on the ground

Mine01/08/2021 Ilvon takes them to Klirork. However, they don't gain immunity because they were empty.

InstAnt01/08/2021 It’s revealed that somebody already ate them before they found them

Views01/08/2021 The person that ate them is revealed to be Panchi, who is here because he lives in the wooded area.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Klirork sees Panchi and hisses at him

Views01/08/2021 Panchi dances at him to distract him.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Klirork cant help himself and dances along

Views01/08/2021 Meanwhile with Music Note and Pearl...

InstAnt01/08/2021 They found some chocolate bars just laying on the ground

Cape the Actual Captain01/08/2021 Crash Man and Mario are looking for food too. 'I want a-me fries and a-me spaghetti!' Mario says.

InstAnt01/08/2021 Ironically, right after he says that, some fries and spaghetti fall out of the sky!

Cape the Actual Captain01/08/2021 'Yum, fries and a-spaghetti!' Mario says. They bring it to Klirork, who gives them immunity.

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 Weirdtalon sees a volcano spewing lava. He decides to throw dead mice in it.

Cape the Actual Captain01/08/2021 'Why are you doing that?' Anti-Urdrreem says. 'We could've used those mice as food for later on!'

Captain Mutagen01/08/2021 However, those weren’t just any mice. They were lava replacement mice. Weirdtalon burns Anti-Urdrreem with the lava in his hands, as mice spews out of the volcano.

Cape the Actual Captain01/08/2021 Meanwhile, Poorly Drawn Cheep and Lincoln go fishing. They use the mushrooms as bait, not knowing that they're poisonous.

InstAnt01/08/2021 When a fish grabs onto a mushroom it dies. “What the heck?” Lincoln asks

Cape the Actual Captain01/08/2021 'Maybe we should use something else...' Cheep says. 'What about that apple over there?'

InstAnt01/08/2021 “Good idea!” Lincoln says, and they use it to successfully catch a fish

Views01/08/2021 Lincoln brings it to Klirork, and farts. The smell is bad so Klirork swats Lincoln away, and he drops the fish.

InstAnt01/08/2021 "Get me something less... stinky," Klirork says

Views01/09/2021 Weirdtalon picks up the dropped fish, seasons it, and charbroils it to perfection. He serves it on a plate with aesthetically pleasing garnish, and serves to Klirork.

InstAnt01/09/2021 "Delicious," goes Klirork. "You and Luis get extra immunity"

Cape the Actual Captain01/09/2021 'Wait, how does that work? I thought immunity was... well... immunity,' Lincoln says.

Mine01/09/2021 Music Note remembers Klirork ate him two years ago, so he clones himself using his cloning machine, then takes his clone to Klirork.

InstAnt01/09/2021 "Oh, you remembered that I ate you? Cool," goes Klirork, then he gives Music Note and Pearl immunity

Captain Mutagen01/09/2021 Weirdtalon goes to a tree, and sets up a campfire, as it's getting late.

InstAnt01/09/2021 Luis sets up a tent near the campfire

Captain Mutagen01/09/2021 "Hey, where'd you get that tent, Blue CC?" Weirdtalon asks. (Luis is Blue CC)

InstAnt01/09/2021 “I brought it with me from my house,” Blue CC/Luis responds

Cape the Actual Captain01/09/2021 The tent is big enough for Blue CC and Weirdtalon to sleep in. Meanwhile, Poorly Drawn Cheep still tries to catch fish with the apple he found.

InstAnt01/09/2021 He finally succeeds, and on his way to Klirork he pushes Lincoln out of the way so he won’t ruin it this time

Cape the Actual Captain01/09/2021 'Come on, we're a team!' Lincoln says. 'You don't just push team members aside!'

InstAnt01/09/2021 “Well what was I gonna do? Let you stink this fish up too?” Cheep responds as he hands it to Klirork

Captain Mutagen01/09/2021 Klirork decides to round up the surviving characters, just to check. Cape the Actual Captain01/09/2021 Scarlett, Penny, Sonic, Eric, Weirdtalon, Blue CC, Elec Man, Baltic Boat, Boiling, Morgen, Sugarfree, Music Note, Pearl, Crash Man, Mario, and Poorly Drawn Cheep all have immunity. Dad Bot is dead, and Lincoln, Sasiassn, Ziloa, Luxovo, Ilvon and Ho-Sis couldn't find any food.

Captain Mutagen01/09/2021 Anti-Urdrreem died too. Poorly Drawn Cheep takes advantage of his immunity be lighting himself on fire.

Cape the Actual Captain01/09/2021 'Wow, cool!' the others say. Elec Man zaps Baltic Boat, who was given immunity too.

InstAnt01/09/2021 “This is awesome!” Scarlett says happily

Cape the Actual Captain01/09/2021 'Yes, very awesome,' Ho-Sis sighs as he doesn't have immunity. 'Come on, is it that wrong to look for your friend who went missing?'

InstAnt01/09/2021 “About that,” Elec-Man says. “I’m afraid that your friend has died”

Captain Mutagen01/09/2021 Minding his own business, Weirdtalon suddenly sees a message from his uncle, Peruvian Soy Eagle, in his feathers.

InstAnt01/09/2021 The message says...

Captain Mutagen01/09/2021 "I'm still alive, but my name is now Darth Adler".

Cape the Actual Captain01/09/2021 Weirdtalon doesn't really know what to think of this message. He decides to keep the message. Mario tells Crash Man that he misses his van Vannio.

Captain Mutagen01/09/2021 Crash Man then crashes into Mario, and the two begin a huge wrestling match.

Cape the Actual Captain01/09/2021 Everyone else watches the wrestling. Elec Man cheers for Crash Man, while Boiling wants Mario to win.

InstAnt01/09/2021 Mario ends up winning

Views01/09/2021 Suddenly, a time traveler comes in and says "Weirdtalon will win"

Captain Mutagen01/09/2021 Klirork decides to disqualify the time-traveler. However, his Faithful Wheat sticks around.

InstAnt01/09/2021 Elec Man is upset that Crash Man lost the match and shocks Mario out of anger

Views01/09/2021 Suddenly, the BFDI Fandomers crash their bus into the wooded area. "TPOT IS TODAY!" they scream. "WE DON'T CARE!" everybody yells. The Fandomers shoot and kill Crash Man. Klirork's next challenge is for the contestants to stop the BFDI Fandom.

InstAnt01/09/2021 "We got this in the bag!" Says Eric

Mine01/10/2021 I tell them that Two is evil, which causes them to leave. Klirork gives me immunity, even though I'm not even participating.

Views01/10/2021 A few remain, ranting on us for calling Two evil.

InstAnt01/10/2021 "That was easier than I expected," goes Baltic Boat, not noticing the few remaining

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 Klirork's next task for the contestants is to make the longest campfire. He also adds the game ends when only one individual lives.

InstAnt01/10/2021 Sonic and Eric gather firewood

Views01/10/2021 Eric rubs two of his cheesy poofs from earlier together, creating fire.

InstAnt01/10/2021 "Woah! How'd you do that?" Sonic asks. "It's a secret," Eric responds

Cape the Actual Captain01/10/2021 'I wish I had one of my flamethrowers,' Music Note says.

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 Klirork then gives Music Note a falmethrower.

InstAnt01/10/2021 He uses it to make a fire

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 Then Sasiassn throws a bunch of rocks and wood together, but accidentally throws in the faithful wheat too.

Cape the Actual Captain01/10/2021 'Hey, stop!' the Faithful Wheat says. 'I can explain everything that'll happen in the future! However, I can only do so in Latin.'

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 "Start explaining now," Sasiassn says, intrigued.

InstAnt01/10/2021 The Faithul Wheat starts explaining what’ll happen in Latin

Cape the Actual Captain01/10/2021 Everyone stares with great interest at the Faithful Wheat... but unfortunately, none of them can understand Latin.

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 What he says translates to "So it's important to be very great if you want to with my own eyes, and the majesty of the sacrifice of the Lord, and did fly: yea Dec, 1965. Pod willing, I will not leave thee any more, the nightingale a teacher of the lab's 15 Weatherdalon on the top of the mountain at a time and to the space through their scouts, and they fall away."

Cape the Actual Captain01/10/2021 'I think he said something about fish, astronauts and a chainsaw,' Ziloa says.

InstAnt01/10/2021 “I think he was saying he had a crush on me,” Scarlett says. “Yeah, right,” goes Penny

Cape the Actual Captain01/10/2021 'Of course he didn't!' Elec Man says. 'It's so obvious, he's saying that cupcakes are going to kill everyone and light schools on fire.'

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 Then, the Faithful Wheat's eyes fall out.

InstAnt01/10/2021 Everybody screams

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 Sasiassn picks up the eyes, and then a mysterious cloud escapes from Cape's grave and flies into the forest. It hits Sassiasn, allowing him to fly back in time to December 1965.

Cape the Actual Captain01/10/2021 'Oh no, a contestant disappeared,' Elec Man says. 'That's one less opponent! Isn't it, Ziloa?' 'Uhhh, yeah, I suppose it is,' Ziloa says nervously. Meanwhile, Sasiassn has arrived in 1965, where he sees a pair of gym socks at a billboard.

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 Klirork decides to keep tabs on all the contestants, including Sasiassn. He ends up falling in love with a nightingale named Pod, who is a science teacher of The Lab's 15 Weatherdalon, so named because it has 15 sentient weather talons. The talons are scouts, and live at the top of a mountain, which happens to be near the forest where everyone is. The talons then fall from space, clawing and acting like zombies.

Cape the Actual Captain01/10/2021 'You should've kept the device away from Vardelon GT NWGCI!' Pod tells the French diplomat Penny and the 'Arno Gang' member Vildaron.

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 Now Klirork gives the contestants a new objective: Hide from the zombie scouts.

InstAnt01/10/2021 Luis and Weirdtalon just hide in their tent

Cape the Actual Captain01/10/2021 Music Note aims his flamethrower at the zombie scouts.

Captain Mutagen01/10/2021 Elec Man and Ziloa dig a hole in the ground.

InstAnt01/10/2021 Scarlett and Penny fly away since they have wings

Cape the Actual Captain01/10/2021 Sonic runs away at the speed of sound. Lincoln farts, which disgusts some of the zombies.

InstAnt01/10/2021 Eric just hides in a bush

ropebxnny.01/10/2021 Happa, realizing this is, yet again, a new place, fell asleep. What is up with you, Happa?

InstAnt01/10/2021 Then the zombies come to Eric who’s still in the bush but he yells at them and they go away

Views01/10/2021 Meanwhile, I sneak up on Sugarfree, and use a matter generator to create a bunch of brains. I place the brains inside of him, and throw him at the Zombie scouts.

InstAnt01/10/2021 The zombies eat him whole

Views01/10/2021 Sugarfree is eliminated due to dying.

InstAnt01/10/2021 The bees in the area cheer, and so does Views

Views01/10/2021 The cheering gets the attention of Klirork, who realizes I sabotaged Sugarfree. For Sabotaging a contestant, I get eliminated despite not being a contestant myself.

InstAnt01/10/2021 “That’s weird,” Eric says from inside the bush

Cape the Actual Captain01/11/2021 Ho-Sis uses some of his brother's invisible bones to distract the zombie scouts.

InstAnt01/11/2021 It works, the zombies are fascinated by the bones

Cape the Actual Captain01/11/2021 Ho-Sis makes use of it to fly away.

Captain Mutagen01/11/2021 Then Weirdtalon climbs the mountain

InstAnt01/11/2021 Up there he finds...

Captain Mutagen01/11/2021 A box of poisonous cheese

InstAnt01/11/2021 “Probably shouldn’t eat that,” he says

Cape the Actual Captain01/11/2021 There is also a bag of red rice.

Captain Mutagen01/11/2021 The box falls off the mountain, and Penny picks it up. This makes her sick.

Views01/11/2021 Penny eats the cheese anyways, and faints.

Captain Mutagen01/11/2021 She is then eliminated

Views01/11/2021 Weirdtalon picks up her body, and tries to cook it. "Thanksgiving!" he says.

InstAnt01/11/2021 Scarlett gets the red rice

Views01/11/2021 It turns out, the rice is explosive, and explodes. Luckily, Scarlett survives.

InstAnt01/11/2021 She's upset that her rice is gone though

Cape the Actual Captain01/11/2021 Sasiassn meets Brett de Beetle, who has the power to travel with caution and control.

InstAnt01/11/2021 They go on an adventure together

Cape the Actual Captain01/11/2021 They find a box filled with 2000 winged kiwis and crackers. 'Hmm, strange,' Sasiassn says. 'We don't have anything like those on Sudlivarg!'

InstAnt01/11/2021 Brett tries to eat one of the crackers but it flies away

Cape the Actual Captain01/11/2021 It flies off of the mountain, and it is soon followed by the other 1999 winged kiwis and crackers.

InstAnt01/11/2021 “Aw, I was hungry,” sighs Brett

Cape the Actual Captain01/11/2021 'There's probably more food on this mountain,' Sasiassn says. Meanwhile, the flying food arrives where the other contestants are.

InstAnt01/11/2021 Luis sees it and tries to take a bite of a kiwi

Captain Mutagen01/11/2021 The Kiwi eats Luis, eliminating him.

InstAnt01/11/2021 Weirdtalon sees this and gets sad that his teammate died

Cape the Actual Captain01/11/2021 Boiling roars as some winged crackers fly around his head.

Captain Mutagen01/11/2021 The Winged Crackers were from the Ultimate Coral Palace (UCP), the location of the Krusty Krabless New Bikini Bottom. There is no trace of the old town. Pearl ends up mad at the winged crackers, and chases them.

Views01/11/2021 As she chases them, she runs near the wooded area's boundaries. "Oh no! Not losing another contestant..." Klirork says, and creates a forcefield blocking anyone from escaping/leaving the wooded area.

InstAnt01/11/2021 Scarlett bumps into it

Views01/11/2021 "Scarlett's trying to leave too?!?!" Klirork says angrily. "That's it!" Klirork says, making the forcefield stronger. "Go ahead! Touch the forcefield!" Klirork says. "You'll be electrocuted!" he continues.

InstAnt01/11/2021 All the contestants back away from it

Captain Mutagen01/11/2021 The winged crackers get sad, and ask to join the tournament.

InstAnt01/11/2021 “Okay I guess,” responds Klirork

Views01/11/2021 But, they all join as one contestant.

InstAnt01/11/2021 "Fascinating," says Elec Man

Mine01/12/2021 Then it starts raining! The rain causes the forcefield to overheat and explode.

Views01/12/2021 Klirork growls, and reassembles it again.

InstAnt01/12/2021 The contestants were happy that it was destroyed but when he reassembled it they said “Aw”

Cape the Actual Captain01/12/2021 'No idea why I didn't make it waterproof in the first place,' Klirork says.

Captain Mutagen01/12/2021 Elec Man then clones himself

InstAnt01/12/2021 Scarlett saw this and she seemed fascinated by it

Captain Mutagen01/12/2021 To Scarlett’s surprise, Elec Man’s clone likes her smell.

InstAnt01/12/2021 “You wanna go out?” Scarlett asks. “Sure,” Elec Man’s clone says

Cape the Actual Captain01/13/2021 The winged kiwis and crackers explore the wooded area. They find...

Captain Mutagen01/13/2021 Some nuclear bombs!

InstAnt01/13/2021 They don’t want them to explode so they just leave them alone

Captain Mutagen01/13/2021 The bombs were in the Patty Wagon.

InstAnt01/13/2021 One of the crackers gets in the Patty Wagon and starts driving it

Cape the Actual Captain01/13/2021 The other winged crackers and kiwis get in the Patty Wagon too.

InstAnt01/13/2021 They don’t make it very far because of the forcefield

Cape the Actual Captain01/13/2021 Pearl sees the Patty Wagon as it drives by, and she becomes hungry.

Captain Mutagen01/13/2021 She yanks off the wheels and eats them.

InstAnt01/13/2021 The Winged Crackers and Kiwis are eliminated because they were eaten

Cape the Actual Captain01/13/2021 Pearl eats the other parts of the Patty Wagon too.

InstAnt01/13/2021 “Man, that was delicious!” she says in a satisfied way

Captain Mutagen01/14/2021 Then the Weird Giant Alien Shark returns and thinks Pearl is a shark too.

InstAnt01/14/2021 They become friends

Cape the Actual Captain01/14/2021 'Have you ever been to Chocolate Mars?' the Weird Giant Alien Shark asks Pearly. 'It's a wonderful planet!'

Captain Mutagen01/14/2021 “Yes,” Pearl says. Then, a bunch of contestants are attacked by bees

InstAnt01/14/2021 “Help!” They say, but then somebody ate the bees

Cape the Actual Captain01/14/2021 The person who ate the bees was Morgen. 'Took a page from Sugarfree's book?' Boiling asks.

InstAnt01/14/2021 This makes other bees hate Morgen now, instead of Sugarfree

Cape the Actual Captain01/14/2021 'Oh boy, here we go again...' Boiling says as more angry bees appear.

Views01/14/2021 Suddenly, Boiling gets a ton of acne.

InstAnt01/14/2021 “Oh dear,” he says. Morgen laughs at him

Captain Mutagen01/14/2021 Glisteren divorces Morgen because of this. Klirork then disqualifies all three of them.

InstAnt01/14/2021 “Thanks a lot, Morgen!” Boiling says unamusedly

Cape the Actual Captain01/15/2021 'This a-contest is a-getting very exciting!' Mario says.

Captain Mutagen01/15/2021 Elec Man fights Mario, thinking he can use Vannio to escape the wooded area.

Cape the Actual Captain01/15/2021 Baltic Boat watches the fight and wants Elec Man to win.

Captain Mutagen01/15/2021 Mario explodes.

Cape the Actual Captain01/15/2021 This means Mario is eliminated. 'Congrats!' Baltic Boat says.

Mine01/15/2021 Scarlett then asks Klirork if she can leave, because she realizes being god is somewhat risky.

Captain Mutagen01/15/2021 He lets Scarlett leave. Cape the Actual Captain01/15/2021 He then announces the next task for the contestants, which is...

Captain Mutagen01/15/2021 To see who can sleep in a tent the longest.

Cape the Actual Captain01/15/2021 'That's an easy one!' Weirdtalon says as he goes to his tent.

Views01/15/2021 But first, Klirork decides to get more organized and gathers up all the eliminated/resigned contestants, and recovers all the dead ones. This includes Dad Bot, Angery, Lincoln, Sasiassn, Ziloa, Luxovo Ilvon, Ho-Sis, that time traveler guy, Sugarfree, Views, Penny, Blue CC, Morgen, Glisteren, the winged crackers and kiwis, Boiling, Mario, and Scarlett. He opens a rift, and throws them all in, taking them to a universe that he created called "The Disqualified, Eliminated, Dead, and Resigned NES God Contestant Universe"

Captain Mutagen01/15/2021 Now there are 7 contestants left for the next half of the part.

Views01/15/2021 Baltic Boat, Elec Man, Eric Cartman, Weirdtalon, and Pearl remain. They all go to their tents.

Captain Mutagen01/15/2021 The other two contestants died suddenly.

Views01/15/2021 Eric and Cartman decide to share a tent. Pearl and Baltic Boat also share one, leaving Elec Man by himself.

InstAnt01/15/2021 Elec Man just sleeps in a tent alone

Captain Mutagen01/15/2021 Pearl sleeps only 10 hours

InstAnt01/15/2021 baltic boat couldnt sleep because of her snoring

Views01/16/2021 38 hours to sleep remain. Suddenly, someone named Guywith Shortnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaae calls Baltic Boat, advertising sleeping medicine to him.

InstAnt01/16/2021 he buys the sleeping medicine

Mine01/16/2021 Salt Lamp asks Klirork if they can join

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 This makes Eric want to kill him once he wakes up. However, what Eric doesn't know is he won the sleeping competeition.

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 Baltic Boat is still saying his weird phrases when Eric wakes up. 'I was just thinking about how you were having a conversation with the guy who's talking to my dad,' he says.

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 "You won this round," Klirork says to Eric. "As such, you get a different quest from the others. An obstacle course!"

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 'Can I kill Baltic Boat after that? He's so annoying!' Eric says. 'No I'm not, you're just a guy who has a lot of followers in the world!' Baltic Boat says.

InstAnt01/17/2021 Eric ignores Baltic and goes to where the obstacle course is

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 Klirork notices Baltic is being crazy and is acting odd towards other contestants, so he gives him a challenge to shapeshift into as many forms as possible.

Views01/17/2021 Weirdtalon's challenge is to take care of the quintuplet human babies named after the main NES user characters.

InstAnt01/17/2021 Eric is doing a good job on the obstacle course so far

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 Baltic shapeshifts into Soloh. 'Look at me, I'm stupid and I got dumped by a Meardan-Pokey-Eye hybrid!' he says.

InstAnt01/17/2021 The baby named BFrit starts crying, so Weirdtalon sings a lullaby to cheer it up

Views01/17/2021 The baby named Chase tries to eat a battery.

InstAnt01/17/2021 Baltic then shapeshifts into Garfield

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 The baby named Cape wants to hug Weirdtalon. Weirdtalon, who is a bit stressed from taking care of the quintuplets, mistakes this as an attempt to attack him.

Views01/17/2021 He accidentally scratches the Cape baby, and it cries.

InstAnt01/17/2021 Eric eats Cheesy Poofs as he does the obstacle course

Views01/17/2021 The Cheesy Poofs make him faster.

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 Pearl's challenge is to prepare ten perfect Krabby Patties.

InstAnt01/17/2021 "Where am I gonna find a grill?" She asks

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 Klirork shrugs. Meanwhile, the quintuplets all start crying, causing Weirdtalon to panic.

InstAnt01/17/2021 He tries to sing the lullaby he sang to the baby named BFrit, but it makes them cry even louder

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 Weirdtalon ends up telling them stories from NES (but slightly changed to be more suitable for babies, of course).

InstAnt01/17/2021 The babies all fall asleep

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 Klirork gives the last remaining contestant, Elec Man, a challenge too. Elec Man's challenge is...

InstAnt01/17/2021 to make a table out of things he finds in the wooded area

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 'That doesn't sound too hard,' Elec Man says. But then he realizes that a lot of the sticks in the wooded area were already used for the campfire task.

InstAnt01/17/2021 Meanwhile Baltic Boat shapeshifts into Skeeter the Mosquito and says "Buzz"

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 Somehow, this summons the real Skeeter, who is freaked out.

Views01/17/2021 Klirork swats Skeeter away.

InstAnt01/17/2021 Skeeter blows a raspberry at Klirork and flies away. Meanwhile with Eric...

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 Eric decides to sneak into Klirork's "office" (which is really just a very large tent) and steal his book to see what the next task is. The next task ends up being...

InstAnt01/17/2021 to catch as many fish as he can in 1 hour

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 Everyone gets fishing poles, and puts them in the water.

InstAnt01/17/2021 Baltic Boat manages to catch 50 fish on his first reel somehow

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 Pearl uses an abandoned campfire to make her Krabby Patties.

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 Elec Man gets a big bite. But then it pulls him in, and is revealed to be another shark. "Mmmmmm, robot masters," He says.

InstAnt01/17/2021 He eats Elec Man, eliminating him

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 The shark goes to Shark York (an underwater town where people worship a certain ricebodied birdectalyte) and tells his friends about the contest.

InstAnt01/17/2021 His friends say "interesting," and they follow him

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 The shark then meets the Weird Giant Alien Shark.

InstAnt01/17/2021 "You wanna come with us?" the shark asks. "Sure!" WGAS responds

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 They swim the surface and see the remaining contestants.

InstAnt01/17/2021 One of the shark's friends sees Pearl and thinks she's a shark too. He falls in love with her

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 Then WGAS and the shark's friend ask Klirork if the next competition can be too see who gets to marry Pearl, and if they can be the contestants.

Cape the Actual Captain01/17/2021 'Well, she's either becoming an NES God or dying,' Klirork says. 'But I'll think about it.'

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 Klirork then decides to proceed with his original plan for the next task, which was to get Baltic Boat to speak like a normal person. Pearl, Weirdtalon, and Eric compete.

Views01/17/2021 Weirdtalon and Eric team up once again to convince Baltic Boat to speak normally, and it works. Pearl is eliminated for not doing anything, and Baltic Boat is also eliminated for taking so long to speak normally.

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 (But we're nowhere near 500 posts) (We only have 315)

Views01/17/2021 Klirork decides to let 3 people rejoin. These three people are...

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 The WGAS, Pearl, and a Winged Cracker.

Views01/17/2021 He also lets Salt Lamp join, to get his contestant count to 6. (His lucky number)

InstAnt01/17/2021 The next challenge is...

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 To figure out which of the contestants gets to date Pearl.

InstAnt01/17/2021 “I think it should be me,” says WGAS, but Salt Lamp disagrees

Views01/17/2021 WGAS dates her anyways. "The challenge wasn't to date Pearl! Just to find out who should!" Klirork says, eliminating WGAS. The next challenge is to watch one episode of Poopy Sugar without gagging or throwing up.

InstAnt01/17/2021 The winged cracker does this successfully since it has no mouth

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 Then, the Salt Lamp brings the Winged Cracker some candy.

Views01/17/2021 Pearl however, vomits almost immediately seeing the first few seconds of it, and gets eliminated. "This show is cewl!" Eric says. "Yes, very ceeewl!" Weirdtalon says.

InstAnt01/17/2021 Salt Lamp feels their stomach start to turn

Captain Mutagen01/17/2021 Salt Lamp manages to stop it by eating Shesh Marmalade.

Views01/17/2021 20 minutes later, the episode ends. "Can we watch some more?" Weirdtalon asks Klirork.

InstAnt01/17/2021 "No, we have another challenge," Klirork says. The challenge is...

Views01/17/2021 To make pretzels from scratch. Eric and Weirdtalon prepare a wheat farm.

InstAnt01/17/2021 The winged cracker uses some of its salt to put on the pretzels

Views01/17/2021 But, the pretzels aren't finished yet so it just lands on the floor. They haven't even started a wheat farm yet.

InstAnt01/17/2021 But it was just preparing it for when they are finished Meanwhile with Eric and Weirdtalon...

Views01/17/2021 Their wheat isn't growing well. Only a few sprouts have shown up.

InstAnt01/17/2021 "I wonder what we're doing wrong," Eric asks

Mine01/18/2021 Salt Lamp, while crying, tells everyone that Two forced him to work at a hotel against his will, and that he barely managed to escape.

Views01/18/2021 Just as they say this, Two lands in the wooded area. "Still battling for this dumb cat's prize?!" He says.

Mine01/18/2021 Then Four shows up as well, and before Two can show off his powers, he snaps his neck, killing him.

Views01/18/2021 Klirork gives Four immunity, as well as lets him join a the competition. Four creates his own wheat farm, and uses powers to make them grow faster. "Can we borrow some wheat?" Eric asks. "Sure. I already have immunity for this challenge anyways." Four says.

Mine01/18/2021 I see Four. "Wait, it's you?" I then hug him.

Views01/18/2021 "Good to see you Foury," he says. Meanwhile, Eric and Weirdtalon make their wheat into flour.

InstAnt01/18/2021 The winged cracker waits patiently for the pretzels to be done so it can salt them

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 Finally, his pretzels are done, and he starts salting them. But they taste funny.

Cape the Actual Captain01/18/2021 The winged cracker thinks he added too much salt.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 But then, the salt he used turns out to be sugar. Klirork doesn't know this, as he prepares to do a taste test.

Cape the Actual Captain01/18/2021 The cracker realizes his mistake and tries to prepare new pretzels, but it's too late.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 Klirork actually enjoys the sugary pretzels, and lets the winged cracker do a one-person contest,

Cape the Actual Captain01/18/2021 The winged cracker has to chase the sharks away from the wooded area.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 One of the sharks is revealed to be a flying kiwi in disguise.

Cape the Actual Captain01/18/2021 The sharks in Shark York see the disguised kiwi talking with the winged cracker. 'Traitor!' they yell.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 The Winged Cracker is eliminated, so he and Flying Kiwi get married. More sharks join to replace him.

Cape the Actual Captain01/18/2021 Salt Lamp becomes a bit scared of all the sharks.

Mine01/18/2021 Only for Two to be revealed to have faked his death, and teleport him away!

Cape the Actual Captain01/18/2021 Salt Lamp is eliminated for having left the arena, even though it was technically Two's fault.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 Siley then crashes the wooded area, and starts looking for his best friend, Two.

Mine01/18/2021 Two thinks that Siley is looking for him, then Two (the countryball) shows up and tells Two (the number) he stole his name. Then they start to fight about who is the real Two, only for Two (the number) to teleport away.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 The next contest is...

Mine01/18/2021 To find a blue apple and bring it to Klirork.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 However, the sharks are colorblind.

Views01/18/2021 They try to give Klirork an orange apple, but get eliminated.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 Siley joins in their place, and now it's Weirdtalon, Eric, and Siley competing.

Cape the Actual Captain01/18/2021 'Why won't this contest just end?' Eric sighs. 'It's been going on for ages now!'

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 "Sorry, buddy," Klirork says. "But there's still 100 replies, give or take, so you three are gonna have a buncha tough competitions." Klirork goes back in time and watches what happened after the wheat harvesting and before the pretzels were finished. What he sees is...

Views01/18/2021 The actual reason they tasted off at first. They were made out of crunched wheat sprouts!

Cape the Actual Captain01/18/2021 He also notices the leader of the sharks from Shark York, General Mistrust. 'I don't trust these people on the surface!' General Mistrust says.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 The Winged Cracker adds water to his flour, which Klirork made from the wheat sprouts, and stretches the resulting gluten into a pretzel shape. Klirork then swaps out his pretzel with sugary ones to keep the timeline intact, and returns home.

Cape the Actual Captain01/18/2021 In the present, General Mistrust is still looking at the people on the surface.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 Winged Cracker and Flying Kiwi tell General Mistrust to keep an eye on Siley, Eric, and Weirdtalon.

Views01/18/2021 Suddenly, this pig steals all the blue apples.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 Klirork thinks it was Winged Cracker, Flying Kiwi, and General Mistrust, and kicks them out of the wooded arena.

Views01/18/2021 Eliminating them.

Captain Mutagen01/18/2021 Siley, Eric, and Weirdtalon are shocked that the Pig wants to join the competition, but let him.

Views01/18/2021 Norfolk Pig also joins.

Mine01/19/2021 The Dancing Polish Cow tells Klirork it wants to join too.

Views01/19/2021 Klirork declines their request. Since all the blue apples were stolen, Klirork's new challenge is to milk Dancing Polish Cow.

InstAnt01/19/2021 Eric and Weirdtalon get a bucket to put the milk in

Views01/19/2021 Norfolk Pig tries milking Dancing Polish Cow. "This milk will be as good as Colman's mustard and curry!" he says. "Not with pork though..." he continues. Suddenly, Dancing Polish Cow kicks Norfolk Pig away. Chase McFly laughs.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 Siley accidentally vomits into his bucket, and is eliminated.

Mine01/19/2021 Then Two (the number) finds out Salt Lamp escaped, and teleports back to the wooded area.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 Two and Salt Lamp fight, and are eliminated once again, along with Norfolk Pig. The next contest Siley, Eric, Weirdtalon, and the Pig go through is...

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 Having to stop Two (the number) from teleporting in and out of the wooded area.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 But Two cooks the pig and eats it, as he can’t resist ham. This eliminates him.

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 'Come on, other Two, stop being so mean!' Siley says.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 The next contest is learning how to shoot ice cream.

InstAnt01/19/2021 Weirdtalon and Eric get the hang of it

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 Siley, however, is not very good at it.

InstAnt01/19/2021 He accidentally misses and shoots a tree instead

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 Siley is eliminated. Klirork then gives Weirdtalon and Eric 10 new trials.

InstAnt01/19/2021 The first one is...

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 To eat many different types of cheese

InstAnt01/19/2021 “These cheeses can’t be as good as my Cheesy Poofs, but let’s try it anyway,” says Eric

Views01/19/2021 Klirork says that whoever does the best in the first trial will get a prize.

InstAnt01/19/2021 Weirdtalon is doing a pretty good job

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 Weirdtalon wins the first trial and gets free mousecake. He’s a bit tired from the cheese, and decides to eat it later.

InstAnt01/19/2021 The next trial is to see who can sing the best

Views01/19/2021 The prize for this trial is 2 tires. (Which will come in handy during trial 3)

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 Weirdtalon ends up singing better, so he gets the tires.

InstAnt01/19/2021 The next trial is to defeat the evil gas pump

Views01/19/2021 Cartman asks Weirdtalon for a tire, and tries throwing it at the evil gas pump like Bibendum did.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 The gas pump then pumps gas into Cartman, so Weirdtalon has to save his life.

Views01/19/2021 This ends up being the 4th trial.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 The fifth trial is...

Views01/19/2021 To take a quiz. The first question is how many replies we have in this part as of now

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 “427,” Eric answers.

Mine01/19/2021 Then the Eight-eyed Floating Legless Lauging Sponge comes out of a cave.

Views01/19/2021 They start laughing at Weirdtalon and Eric, distracting them from the quiz.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 Klirork then gives them some free ice cream.

Views01/19/2021 However, since the EEFLLS' mouth can't close due to the giant pink thing in the center it doesn't care for it.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 Eventually, Weirdtalon wins the quiz. The EEFLLS then joins the 6th trial.

Views01/19/2021
 * z_: the 6th trial is to give this fat guy a bath.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 The fat guy complains about Weirdtalon’s talons.

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 'Well, I can't do anything about them, they grow back in a few hours!' Weirdtalon says.

Views01/19/2021 Eric gives the fat guy some bubbles to cheer him up. But it instead makes the fat guy hate the bath even more!

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 The Eight-eyed Floating Legless Laughing Sponge ends up winning the trial.

Views01/19/2021 Even without arms and legs, they still managed to wash the fat guy!

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 The next trial is to sit through an episode of South Park.

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 'Hmm, this seems familiar,' Eric says when the episode begins.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 However, EEFLLS begins criticizing the episode. This is unacceptable, so Klirork disqualifies him.

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 'I guess it's just us two again,' Weirdtalon says. 'Unless Mr. Cat God is going to bring back even more people, of course...'

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 The fat guy ends up taking over for EEFLLS in the 8th trial, which ends up being...

Views01/19/2021 A game of checkers.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 But the fat guy proves terrible at checkers, and is kicked out.

Views01/19/2021 Suddenly, a fireman comes to the wooded area and tells Klirork that the contestants' fires are a wildfire hazard. The 9th trial is to put out these fires.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 Eric sees some ice on the mountain and melts it. He then puts the fire out with the water.

Views01/19/2021 And then, the grand finale. The 10th trial is a battle to the death. Whoever wins gets to be NES God for Chapter 9. "Wait stop this!" Eric yells. "Me and Weirdtalon are good friends, and it doesn't matter to us who gets to be NES God! So I resign!" he continues. "You're letting me be NES God? Thank you so much!" Weirdtalon says.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 “Alright, it’s official, you’re my successor,” Klirork says.

Views01/19/2021 Eric congratulations Weirdtalon. We all go to Target Café for pizzas.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 The wooded area falls over, and Klirork and Weirdtalon smile and bow. They then join us.

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 At the Target Café, a rift to The Disqualified, Eliminated, Dead, and Resigned NES God Contestant Universe opens.

Views01/19/2021 Everyone walks out. "Finally! Lincoln kept farting in there!" Pearl says.

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 'Again, I can't help it!' Lincoln says.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021 John Linnell and John Flansburgh arrive, with pizza slices containing the lyrics of Filler Night.

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 'That's a-cool-a pizza!' Mario says.

Views01/19/2021 Me and Chase get behind the counter and start making food for everyone.

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 The winged kiwis and crackers help with making food too.

Views01/19/2021 Klirork takes a large bag of cat food from a nearby shopping cart, and eats it whole.

Cape the Actual Captain01/19/2021 'Hey, that was mine!' a customer says, but Klirork eats the customer too.

Captain Mutagen01/19/2021
 * 1) part-2-where-is-cloak

Views01/19/2021 "Aw great! The big cat ate me!" the customer says. "Wait, where's my cloak?!?!" the customer continues. TO BE CONTINUED...